Paradox: Lost While Winning
by sweetXwhenXsilent
Summary: Hit & Run episode mostly Run The real reason why Emily feels her time with the BAU is up. Sometimes it's better to just let the past stay the past. How can that happen when everyday you are reminded of the future you will never have? JJ/Emily JJ/Will


There were many places she could have been on this day. Chasing serial bank robbing killers was just a normal day in the office for her. No that was not the problem, it was not the fact that some crazy duo was wrecking havoc at the capital, and that they had just blown up a bank with the plans to blow up a train station right now. It was the fact that she, Emily Prentiss, was kneeling down in front of Will LaMontagne while he had semtex and C4 plastique explosives wrapped in chains to his body.

She wished she had left the duct tape on his mouth, because this was one place she never wanted to be. "Emily you have to get out of here," he began with his southern drawl accenting every word and she wanted to punch him in the jaw immediately. Now was _so_ not the time for this, the time in bright white bold numbers was counting down swiftly and there was no room for error. Why did bank robbers never give you ten minutes? It was always five and below, how rude.

"Emily listen to me, you have to leave me here. You have to go, promise you will take care of JJ and Henry for me." Oh she so did not want to have to be here for this. Of course Will would guilt trip her into taking care of JJ, as if the woman would let her.

Emily brushed her hair back and glared pensively at the crude old brick of a cell phone connected to the multiple satchel charges on his chest. "Sorry Will, she chose you. You beat me fair and square so taking care of her and your son is your job. Plus I don't do diapers, didn't you know? Now everything they did and said was about them."

"The bank robbers? Their narcissists." And isn't that a curious thought, how would two narcissists make it in a successful relationship? Apparently blowing up buildings and killing innocents was a perfect key to theirs.

She placed her fingers on the keypad and ignored how sweaty they were, "They are also romantics, ok so they meet in 2008." Tight fingers grasp the phone in a better hold and she shifted on her knees for a better angle. Two, zero, zero, eight.

'Two tries remaining!' Blared across an adjacent small screen as Will's not so manly yelp echoed throughout the emptied building. Emily did not fault him though because really, the man had three types of explosives strapped to his chest.

He took in a strangled gasp and his twang was more evident the more nervous he got as he spoke. "Seriously Emily, you have to go. Just go! At least she can still have one of us if you leave."

"Damn it Will shut up! You are going to be fine just let me think. JJ is yours ok, I'll make sure you will get back to your family." The family she would never have.

His head lulled to the side and she reminded herself that he had been shot prior and the probability that bank robbers/serial killers administered proper care would have been slim to none.

"Do you want to know how she chose between us? I cannot be too mad since I won but she flipped a coin Prentiss. She did not want to let either of us go, she couldn't make that decision so she left it to fate. She never wanted you to know but I think you should, you should know she still loves you."

JJ….Jennifer fucking Jareau flipped a coin to decide between her or Will? Seriously. She wanted to pull her hair out, she wanted to scream, she huffed in exasperation. If only she could go back in time to where she had first met JJ and kick herself in a new direction away from the blonde woman.

"Wait ok, I have another one. They met in Chad. Two four two three damn it!"

'One try remaining!'

"Yea, yea I got that, one try remaining. Thanks for the heads up." She barked sarcastically. Less than twenty seconds to go, brilliant.

Will wiggled in his chains a bit, C4 must have been itchy. "Did you hear me? She flipped a coin. She-"

"Yes! Will I heard you, shut up. I got it." So not the time! "Will think! These are valentine's for her, think four letter words. Like, love, l-"

His head jerked in clarity, "Izzy! Her name is Izzy!" Finally, a good idea coming from his damn mouth!

She grasped the phone again, heart pounding in her ears in tandem as she pressed the keys. "I, Z, Z, Y." The bomb disarmed itself; she let out a quick sigh of relief until another latch on his chest opened revealing another bomb timer with three wires.

Would this day never end? Of all the things she could have been doing. This was really getting old.

She looked fully at the timer. 30 seconds. "Oh god."

"Prentiss! Prentiss what's your status?" Hotch blared in her ear and she tore out the ear bud quickly. She did not need Will's sappy wailing and Hotchner's frantic yelling in both her ears.

"Their story telling is in the details," she prayed Will had one more brilliant idea lurking in his brain somewhere. 14 seconds. "These wires mean something to them."

"Like what!" 10 seconds.

She touched the wires lightly, red, yellow, blue. "Colors of the Chad flag? Red, yellow, and blue only one is different from the US flag."

Will's breathing had increased rapidly, his face turning an unhealthy shade of red. Really if he was nervous about dying he was about a minute too late. He glanced down at her pliers easing their way towards the yellow wire.

"What do you think!" 3 seconds.

She thought it was all they had to go on. She clipped the wire. One second.

Will's exhale of relief was more like a painful grunt, but she ignored it as she leaned over on her side exhaling in happiness. Just another day at the office. They panted quietly for a moment, almost dying twice seemed to suck the air out of you; she could have sworn his lips were moving in a silent prayer.

"How'd you do that?" He asked after a moment. She kept her cool, kept her head and paid no heed to everything irrelevant he had to say of course.

She chuckled. "I just didn't over think it." He closed his eyes and just laughed. She figured everything about JJ was going to be swept back underneath the rug.

Walking out of the building she noticed JJ rushing towards them, she had just enough time to brace herself before she was accosted. Jennifer wrapped one arm around her and the other around Will.

"You two! You two are going to make me go gray! Oh god the both of you-"

Will chuckled and wrapped his good arm around his girlfriend. "Love you too darling."

* * *

Standing in a silly dress and explaining her reasoning for leaving to Morgan without her, herself even fully understanding why she wanted to leave was not just another day at the office. Especially when this party was supposed to be for JJ's…marriage to Will. He didn't like it, he didn't approve of it, but he respected it. Morgan was always that guy ready to lend a shoulder. She cleared her throat trying to calm the itchy feeling that arose whenever she wanted to try to suppress crying.

What was there left holding her here? She had no more ties left, no more roots planted. Will and Jennifer's marriage uprooted all she had worked hard for over the years, there was nothing tying her here anymore. Her and JJ would never be, she was just slowly waiting for this day to come and now it was official. Despite what Morgan said this was not the time to talk about this, today was all about JJ. So while the blonde walked down the aisle she ignored Penelope's curious gaze, it was obvious Emily's talk with Derrick left him still a bit down. She would miss them, all of them. Even Reid. She loved them all but her time here was up, it was time to move on.

Moving on, was something she was rather skilled at.

"I've always heard every ending is also a beginning and we just don't know it at the time. I'd like to believe that's true."


End file.
